The force is strong with this one

We needed meat, and we needed it fast. So we cruised over to Ralphie's to pick up some burgers for the Memorial Day BBQ. Because it was crowded, Wade told me to wait in line while he ran over to get some patties.

So I'm standing there and this little kid who couldn't have been more than 4 years old grabbed one of those hot new Star War Light Sabers and pointed it at me.

Dude, was he challenging me?

He had this huge grin on his face like he wanted to play. Oh hell why not.

I walked over to the toy shelf and grabbed another light saber. The little boy held his sword out in front of him, and I did the same. Our eyes met just like Luke and Vader in Empire Strikes Back.

Yoda has taught you well, I said to this kid.

I don't think he caught the reference.

Anyway, we started swinging at each other like two true Jedis. I let him chase me up and down the isle, meanwhile making ridiculous noises with my mouth that sounded nothing like George Lucas's THX sound effects.

We continued to battle past the end caps and out into the main area by the counter. He was winning. I was going down!

I figured I'd let the little kid win seeing how he was 21 years younger than me and it just wouldn't be right to slay him like all of my previous victims whose lives I'd ended. So I did my best "fake fall" and landed on my back, holding my light saber above my head. The little kid started jamming it into my gut as I screamed and winced in pain. He laughed and jumped up and down in victory.

Then I heard one word that almost made me soil myself...

"Caleb!"

Oh crap.

"Get over here right NOW," an angry female voice said.

Caleb Skywalker dropped his weapon and ran over to his mother. I looked up from the floor and saw one pissed off mother glaring at me like I was about to do something dirty and evil to her son with my light saber. She quickly scooted in the other direction. And I was like, Dude, I just made your kid's DAY - maybe you should give him a little more attention!

Meanwhile, Wade returned from around the corner while I was still on the floor and stopped in his tracks.

"The force was strong with that one," I said.

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THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM STUFF I'VE DONE

I'm going to make a great father.