How to guarantee that every guy thinks you're a bitch

There's this girl who works out at my gym. She never smiles. EVER. I've been working out there for 2 years, and I swear to God she's never once smiled, talked, laughed or even acknowledged another person in the room.

Now, I know she works at the bank in the same building, which might explain a few things. But still, lots of people from the bank work out there. And they all smile. This girl is impossible.

I wouldn't make such a big deal about this if this chick wasn't SMOKING HOT. Oh yeah. Ree-diculous. And she always wears pink or purple spandex shorts that showcase one of the juciest asses I've ever seen.

But every time I see her and think "Damn she fine," I also think, "Yeah, but she looks like a total bitch." I've even considered approaching her and saying something like, "Hey, I know you work out here all the time, but I've never actually introduced myself. My name's Jack. And by the way, is there something wrong?"

What would happen? Would she be so flattered that someone actually took the time to say hello that she'd fall madly in love with me?

Would she look at me like I'm crazy, not say a word and walk back to her eliptical machine?

Or would she blow me off like every other guy who tries to talk to her?

I don't know. Maybe she's a mute. Maybe she hates her job. Maybe she's really depressed. Or maybe she's like, SUPER shy. But for a woman who's THAT freakin' hot, she ain't scorin' a lot of points in the personality department. And I think it's decreasing her attractiveness by the day.

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THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM STUFF I'VE DONE

Looks only go so far.